Ahh summer, you are officially here. I prefer the milder months but I do love you. Although you could be a less humid. It’s not supposed to be this humid in the mountains! I came to love summer in the mountains because of Camp Greystone, an all girls Christian camp in Tuxedo, NC. For a little girl from Ohio, and for many others, it was bliss. I spent 5 years there as a camper and 4 years on staff. I am so blessed to live so close now!
I get the feeling that this summer will contain some personal growth for me which is great. However, I don’t do well operating without a plan. I am a Virgo for goodness sake. I like plans, I like order, I like routine.
I have a feeling this summer is about to send me on a path to being more spontaneous in a lot of ways. I’m not prepared for that. Part of that includes properly dealing with the feelings that surround my parent’s ending their marriage. It happened two years ago in November but I let it glaze over. I had a hard lesson yesterday when I left a voice mail for my father to wish him a Happy Father’s Day.
I haven’t gotten a call back.
My relationship with my father has in fact change and the last I saw him was in May. He has no desire to come down here and I haven’t been able to find the time to go and see him. I have a hard time understanding why you wouldn’t answer the phone when your baby girl was calling you on Father’s Day. I have a harder time understanding why you didn’t acknowledge said phone call. My older brother didn’t get a return phone call either. I know my Father still cares about me but things are very different and holidays/birthdays are becoming more difficult. For my last birthday, he sent me money in place of a gift even though I had sent a list liked he asked. I admire my father for a lot of reasons and I will give him full credit for instilling a strong work ethic in me. But I would be lying if I said my feelings weren’t hurt. My parents struggle to communicate and I can’t fix anything. If everyone was back the way it was or if there was some way to fix it, I would.
But I can’t.
My parents and I on my 27th Birthday.
I hope this summer brings me some peace and realization that life is certainly operational without a plan. Perhaps I can start being honest with my father about his actions and how they hurt me. I also get to relish in the fact that this is the last summer in my 20s. I will be turning 30 over Labor Day weekend.
I hope this summer continues to remind me that La Vita e Bella, Life is Beautiful.
Thanks for reading:)
